Smile....?

Hmmm...
Recently I am kinda emo...
Not only when working...
even at home fb-ing also i can be emo...
Some friends ask me..
whats wrong with me..
how come i always post the emo emo thing...
and den my production member and colleague also ask me..
whats wrong with me..why always see me like no energy like that...
i still can remember..last year..
my production member said they like to see me walking around in production floor..
because i always have my smile on my face..
its like everything is good and it makes them comfortable..
thats why now, they actually worried about me..
because they hardly see my smile nowadays...

Haiz... I actually also tried to figure out whats wrong with me...
Too many things to worry?
I guess so...
and emo led to bad temper...
which i don like it...
haiz..
sometime i just felt like i am not me..
i am lost....

I am back!!

After so long...
here I am...
I am back to my haven...

I took MC today..
my very first MC of the year..
thanks to Migraine..

And I am kinda down...
Last time, I am too sensitive,
that's why I always feel annoyed..or irritated...
After that I changed..
But this time, I am sure is not my problem...
You are the one that should know the limit..
Some words You cant just simply tell anyone....
I do not accept the explanation such as just kidding or what..
those words, for me, is not a joke.

Meaningless.

"星期五去到你公司时，看到你的车子，真希望可以见到你。不管怎样，你也不可能拿走我对你的思念。"


Just now,
someone send me this message..
Honestly,
after i read the message,
I got no feeling.


Because everything has changed.
When I was the one that care of the relationship,
I was not appreciated.
That fella gave all kind of excuses,
to leave me.


One thing I wanna tell that fella for one last time.
NO matter how,
Please don forget that you hurt me so bad last time.
Please be thankful because now I accept you as a friend.
Don make our friendship reach the stage where I am gonna block you from everything,
so you will not able to see any update of me.


When its the time you should appreciate, you didnt.
When the time you choose to give up,
everything between you and me has gone.
Totally.

茫。然。

我好像，
慢慢迷失了自己。
我的生活，
好像不一样了。

好像，
每天都在 Copy and Paste 我的生活步骤。
每天重复着一样的东西。
几乎每天，
脑袋里有着同样的想法，
担心着同样的东西，
为了同一件事而耿耿于怀，
喜怒无常。
说真的，
我害怕，
这样的生活，
我怕。
怕我会慢慢失去自我，
怕我会就这样安于现状，
怕我就这样被磨灭了斗志，
怕当初那坚持着的念头慢慢变得渺小，
怕，一成不变。

好想念，
我的朋友们。
一起念书的日子，
好快乐。
无论怎样，
我都不会是一个人...
身在别个城市的你们，
过得还好吗?

最近 Po 的文都是比较负面的，
最近心情是比较低落。
无奈...

现在，
已经是六月十一号了，
倒数着两个重要的日子。
两个改变我很多的日子。
两个重要的决定。
是欣喜的，
是快乐的，
我更愿意相信，
是注定的。

Confused.

I always heard of this sentence.. " You will never walk alone "..
It sounds sweet, sounds supportive,
but I don think it happens all the time..

Hmm..
I will never walk alone?
I don't think so..
Sometime,
I am walking alone,
and keep on looking back,
to check is there anyone behind me who tried to chase me..near me..
to check are you behind me...
Sometime,
I am happy because when I turn around, I see you there..
But sometime i was disappointed..
Because you are not there..and left me waiting....

Or I should think another way..
Maybe when people need me..
I cant be there for them too..
And so they will have the same feeling of mine...

When I am not alone, when I am with friends,
I am an optimist, I like to smile and laugh,
I always give positive comment and think positively..encouraging..
But when I am alone..
I change..
Change to become a quiet and negative girl.
Contradict.

Soon,
I am gonna complete my first year service in current company..
What I need to figure out  now is my goal of life..
My future..
Which path should I choose..
For my first step in career life,
I've chosen the path that is not commonly chose..
Its time for me to consider of make some changes..

Good luck to me..and to the one that is reading this..
Cheers~
=)

无题。

爱情，就像糖果。
当你沉醉在它的甜时，
它却越来越渺小了...

你说对吗？

又一次.

再一次, 被所谓的朋友,
在背后捅了一刀...

那感觉，
有点痛..
除了痛，
就是错愕，
和失望。

曾经看着他出卖另一个朋友，
当时也是一阵错愕，
没想到，
我就是下一个。

看见他，
我连最基本的微笑也做不出了。

不明白，
小事一桩，
为什么要加盐加醋，
把我说得好象十恶不赦的样子。

这个人，
我看清了，
彻底地看清。
连带我身边的其他人，
都为我觉得不忿。

我违规，
我认。
我改。
可是为什么要在我改过了之后提起？
而且还要加盐加醋。

踏入社会，
我又上了宝贵的一堂课。

虽然现在他踩着我出风头，
可能他觉得他很棒。
事实上，
他只是一个没有朋友的多面可怜虫！
一条虚伪的假面虫..
永远都得不到别人的尊敬。
可悲...