Promise? Shit?

A promise is only a piece of shit if it was said but not done.

Sometimes, people use " promise " as a weapon,

a weapon to shut others up,

a weapon to shows that they are actually " care " ,

and always..they give others fake hope..

by making promise which they know they couldn't make it,

and even worse, they will not even remember they have made such promise before.

改变

原来，伤心地痛哭，是会让人肚子饿的。

从现在起，
我会是一个全新的我，
为了我们能开心地走下去。
希望，我们能一起努力。
加油。

Smile....?

Hmmm...
Recently I am kinda emo...
Not only when working...
even at home fb-ing also i can be emo...
Some friends ask me..
whats wrong with me..
how come i always post the emo emo thing...
and den my production member and colleague also ask me..
whats wrong with me..why always see me like no energy like that...
i still can remember..last year..
my production member said they like to see me walking around in production floor..
because i always have my smile on my face..
its like everything is good and it makes them comfortable..
thats why now, they actually worried about me..
because they hardly see my smile nowadays...

Haiz... I actually also tried to figure out whats wrong with me...
Too many things to worry?
I guess so...
and emo led to bad temper...
which i don like it...
haiz..
sometime i just felt like i am not me..
i am lost....

I am back!!

After so long...
here I am...
I am back to my haven...

I took MC today..
my very first MC of the year..
thanks to Migraine..

And I am kinda down...
Last time, I am too sensitive,
that's why I always feel annoyed..or irritated...
After that I changed..
But this time, I am sure is not my problem...
You are the one that should know the limit..
Some words You cant just simply tell anyone....
I do not accept the explanation such as just kidding or what..
those words, for me, is not a joke.

Meaningless.

"星期五去到你公司时，看到你的车子，真希望可以见到你。不管怎样，你也不可能拿走我对你的思念。"


Just now,
someone send me this message..
Honestly,
after i read the message,
I got no feeling.


Because everything has changed.
When I was the one that care of the relationship,
I was not appreciated.
That fella gave all kind of excuses,
to leave me.


One thing I wanna tell that fella for one last time.
NO matter how,
Please don forget that you hurt me so bad last time.
Please be thankful because now I accept you as a friend.
Don make our friendship reach the stage where I am gonna block you from everything,
so you will not able to see any update of me.


When its the time you should appreciate, you didnt.
When the time you choose to give up,
everything between you and me has gone.
Totally.

茫。然。

我好像，
慢慢迷失了自己。
我的生活，
好像不一样了。

好像，
每天都在 Copy and Paste 我的生活步骤。
每天重复着一样的东西。
几乎每天，
脑袋里有着同样的想法，
担心着同样的东西，
为了同一件事而耿耿于怀，
喜怒无常。
说真的，
我害怕，
这样的生活，
我怕。
怕我会慢慢失去自我，
怕我会就这样安于现状，
怕我就这样被磨灭了斗志，
怕当初那坚持着的念头慢慢变得渺小，
怕，一成不变。

好想念，
我的朋友们。
一起念书的日子，
好快乐。
无论怎样，
我都不会是一个人...
身在别个城市的你们，
过得还好吗?

最近 Po 的文都是比较负面的，
最近心情是比较低落。
无奈...

现在，
已经是六月十一号了，
倒数着两个重要的日子。
两个改变我很多的日子。
两个重要的决定。
是欣喜的，
是快乐的，
我更愿意相信，
是注定的。

Confused.

I always heard of this sentence.. " You will never walk alone "..
It sounds sweet, sounds supportive,
but I don think it happens all the time..

Hmm..
I will never walk alone?
I don't think so..
Sometime,
I am walking alone,
and keep on looking back,
to check is there anyone behind me who tried to chase me..near me..
to check are you behind me...
Sometime,
I am happy because when I turn around, I see you there..
But sometime i was disappointed..
Because you are not there..and left me waiting....

Or I should think another way..
Maybe when people need me..
I cant be there for them too..
And so they will have the same feeling of mine...

When I am not alone, when I am with friends,
I am an optimist, I like to smile and laugh,
I always give positive comment and think positively..encouraging..
But when I am alone..
I change..
Change to become a quiet and negative girl.
Contradict.

Soon,
I am gonna complete my first year service in current company..
What I need to figure out  now is my goal of life..
My future..
Which path should I choose..
For my first step in career life,
I've chosen the path that is not commonly chose..
Its time for me to consider of make some changes..

Good luck to me..and to the one that is reading this..
Cheers~
=)

无题。

爱情，就像糖果。
当你沉醉在它的甜时，
它却越来越渺小了...

你说对吗？

又一次.

再一次, 被所谓的朋友,
在背后捅了一刀...

那感觉，
有点痛..
除了痛，
就是错愕，
和失望。

曾经看着他出卖另一个朋友，
当时也是一阵错愕，
没想到，
我就是下一个。

看见他，
我连最基本的微笑也做不出了。

不明白，
小事一桩，
为什么要加盐加醋，
把我说得好象十恶不赦的样子。

这个人，
我看清了，
彻底地看清。
连带我身边的其他人，
都为我觉得不忿。

我违规，
我认。
我改。
可是为什么要在我改过了之后提起？
而且还要加盐加醋。

踏入社会，
我又上了宝贵的一堂课。

虽然现在他踩着我出风头，
可能他觉得他很棒。
事实上，
他只是一个没有朋友的多面可怜虫！
一条虚伪的假面虫..
永远都得不到别人的尊敬。
可悲...

06.05.2011

Deeply disappointed. And it hurts..
You say i should know you don like compare....
But than you also should know that I don like to wait..
Especially when I am waiting for nothing..

原谅我就是一个这样的女生

The time when i was still straight hair... =P

我..一个平凡女生..
一个敏感，多愁善感的女生..

生气的时候会哭，
伤心的时候会哭，
失望的时候会哭，
无助的时候会哭，
没人懂得的时候会哭，
被欺骗会哭，
被背叛会哭，
听着歌，忆起往事，会哭，
看感人的电视剧，会哭...
我，就是这么一个容易掉泪的女生.

在陌生人面前，
我很酷，
常被别人误会我摆臭脸，
其实，
那是我保护自己的方程式..
跟我熟络了，
就可以知道，
其实我也和很爱玩，
我也喜欢和大家腻在一起，
说笑玩乐，一起开怀大笑..
说穿了，
我也只不过是一个..
害怕寂寞的人..
不论外表再坚强，再独立，
内里的我，
害怕孤单，
害怕被遗忘..

有时候的我，
很固执，
只要觉得想做的事，
就会毫不犹豫地去做..
当然，一切都在不伤天害理的大前提下..
心情不好，
手机关机，
一个人驾车出去兜风..
一个人去逛街，
一个人去海边，
一个人坐在咖啡厅..听音乐，思考..

我常常把钱花在食物上，
比起其它的女生，
很明显的我不会打扮自己，
出门顶多化个淡妆，
穿着悠闲，是蛮没有女人味的说..
对于我，
吃好吃的食物，
快感与满足感远远胜于把自己打扮漂亮..

有时候的我会很懒，
计划好的事情十七八九都没有按时进行..
这是我最失败的地方..

我很喜欢音乐，
我喜欢听歌，
我喜欢唱歌，
虽然没有天籁之音，
可是我就是喜欢唱歌..

我常常想很多，
这..有利也有弊..
利，就是可以想到别人想不带的东西，
弊，就是那让我自己很累..
想太多，
常常让我自己很累，
想得多，
担心就多，
顾虑也多...

I laughed.

Today..
someone unexpected
told me that he cant believe and cant understand..
why I would attach to my current bf..
The first reaction of mine after read the mail,
I laughed.
After that,
I read again the mail,
and I laugh again.
Then I replied him,
asking him what's the reason he said so..

Hmmm...
No one is perfect in this world..
Neither him..nor me..
And that's the reason,
I am satisfied with my current relationship..
Undeniable,
There are also arguments and tears in this relationship..
But the joy and happiness,
and also the feeling of being loved,
all sorts of new experience and knowledge that he brought to me,
neutralize every single negative thing in this relationship..

Actually,
that person is not the first one who said that I shouldn't be with my current bf..
But,
No one knows what I really want, except me, myself..
For me, he is the one I want..
And so, I insist that,
I have made a correct choice.

Am I ?

Hmmm...
Recently..I am kinda weird...
I said words that I would not say before,
I asked questions that I never ask before...
and the most terrible thing is,
I think in a negative way...

I am not suppose to be like that...
I used to be a girl that always think optimistically..
Bt then, recently, I really changed...

Thanks to the person that wake me up...
I will start to change...
Back to the original Me..

Cheers~

=)